By Mel Robbins
What if I told you that your mind is either working for you or against you? That simple truth is the foundation of everything I want to share with you today about mindset reset. Whether you’re struggling with overwhelming overthinking, feelings of unworthiness, or you simply want to level up and play a bigger game in life, this article is for you.
Mindset is one of the most powerful tools you have—yet it’s often overlooked. Your mindset shapes the way you see the world, how you feel about yourself and your future, and ultimately, the actions you take or don’t take. If you want to change your life, the first step is to get serious about making your mind work for you.
Understanding What Mindset Really Means
Let’s start by defining what mindset is. At its core, your mindset is your set of beliefs and opinions about how the world works. But definitions can feel abstract and distant, so I like to use a metaphor that makes this concept tangible:
Your mindset is like a pair of sunglasses.
Think about your favorite pair of sunglasses. The color and tint of the lenses filter everything you see, changing the way the world looks. If you wear rose-colored glasses, everything looks warm and bright. If you wear dark, black sunglasses, the world appears dimmer and shadowed.
Your mindset does the same thing. It colors your perception of yourself, others, and your circumstances. If you’re a pessimist, your mindset acts like dark sunglasses, skewing your view toward negativity. You might find yourself focusing on what’s wrong, missing the good around you. Conversely, if you have an optimistic mindset, your world looks brighter and filled with possibility, just like wearing rose-colored lenses.
Examples of Mindset in Action
Imagine a pessimistic person sitting on a beautiful beach in the Bahamas, complaining about the lunch delay while ignoring the sun, ocean, and tropical drink in their hand. We all know someone like this—they see problems everywhere, no matter how wonderful the situation. Their mindset keeps them trapped in negativity.
On the flip side, think about the person at work or school who always has a “can-do” attitude. They shrug off rude customers or uncooperative teammates and see possibilities where others see obstacles. Their mindset is like those rose-colored glasses, making even a cloudy day feel like a sunrise.
Why Mindset Matters More Than You Think
Your mindset doesn’t just affect your mood—it directly impacts your actions and decisions. It shapes how you feel about the present, how you judge your past, and how you envision your future. Most importantly, it determines whether you take the actions necessary to create change or remain stuck.
If you’re walking around with dark, pessimistic lenses, telling yourself “I can’t change this job,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t deserve happiness,” your mindset is literally keeping you stuck. It’s blocking you from seeing alternatives and possibilities, which means you’re less likely to take steps toward a better life.
Changing your mindset is like popping out those dark lenses and putting on a brighter, more hopeful pair. Suddenly, you see opportunities, you feel more motivated, and you’re inspired to act. That’s why mindset reset is so important—it’s the gateway to action and transformation.
Mindset Is Not Just Positive Thinking
Let me be clear: mindset reset is not about toxic positivity. It’s not about pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Nor is it about wishful thinking that won’t pay your bills or fix your problems overnight.
Instead, mindset reset is about training your brain to work for you. It’s about creating a realistic but empowered attitude that gives you the energy and clarity to take meaningful action. For example, instead of saying, “I’m buried in debt and there’s no way out,” a mindset reset might lead you to say, “I believe I can figure out a plan to pay this off.” This subtle shift makes all the difference.
The Science Behind Mindset Reset: Your Brain’s Filter
Now, I want to share some fascinating neuroscience that proves your mind is flexible and can be reprogrammed. It all comes down to a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System, or RAS for short.
What Is the Reticular Activating System (RAS)?
The RAS is like a bouncer at a nightclub inside your brain. Its job is to decide what information gets through to your conscious mind and what gets filtered out. Think about how overwhelming the world is—there’s constant sensory input from your eyes, ears, nose, skin, and more. Without this filter, your brain would be overloaded.
The RAS filters information based on what it thinks is important to you. For example, if you start looking for a new car, suddenly you notice that car model everywhere. It wasn’t that the cars just appeared; they were always there, but your brain’s filter was ignoring them until you showed interest.
This is why when you focus on something—whether it’s a goal, a worry, or a desire—your brain starts highlighting related information. It’s a live, flexible network that changes in real time based on your focus and energy.
How Your Mindset Programs Your RAS
If your mindset is filled with doubt and negativity, your RAS gets programmed to filter in information that reinforces those beliefs. For example, if you doubt yourself, you might fixate on the one email you sent that wasn’t perfect, ignoring all the other things you did well. Your brain is showing you what it thinks matters based on your energy and focus.
Conversely, if you train your mindset to focus on wins, gratitude, and positive beliefs, your RAS will start highlighting those things instead. Over time, this rewiring can lead to a fundamentally different experience of life. This is why gratitude practices and positive habit-building are so powerful—they teach your RAS what to let in.
How to Perform a Mindset Reset: Practical Steps
Now that you understand the science and importance of mindset reset, let’s get practical. Here’s a simple but powerful exercise I call “Looking for Hearts.”
Looking for Hearts: The Brain Game That Changes Everything
Every day, go on a scavenger hunt to find heart shapes naturally occurring in your environment. It could be:
- A cloud shaped like a heart
- The foam on your coffee forming a heart
- A leaf or a stain that looks like a heart
- A pattern in bricks or rocks
At first, you might think this sounds silly or trivial. But the moment you start looking for hearts, your brain’s RAS begins to work for you. By intentionally telling your brain to look for hearts, you’re training your filter to notice positive, hopeful things that were always there but you didn’t see.
When you find a heart, pause and savor it. Take a photo, hold the leaf, or just stare at it for a moment. Tell yourself that this heart is a sign that your mind is flexible and that change is possible. This simple act rewires your brain to be more open to positivity and possibility.
Why This Works
This exercise is a form of cognitive bias modification—catching default negative thoughts and substituting them with better ones. It’s about proving to yourself that your mind can change and that you control what you focus on.
One listener shared that after playing this game, she even saw two hearts within an hour. But then she felt scared of change. That’s normal. The mind often resists positive change because it’s unfamiliar. But the more you practice, the easier it becomes to embrace a mindset reset.
Overcoming Self-Doubt and Negative Thoughts
One of the biggest mindset challenges is self-doubt. It’s the voice in your head that says “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never succeed,” or “I’m unlovable.” These thoughts program your RAS to focus on failure and rejection, reinforcing the negative cycle.
But here’s the truth: your brain is not working against you. It’s responding to where you put your energy and attention. If you constantly doubt yourself, your RAS filters the world to show you reasons why you should doubt yourself.
The key to breaking this cycle is to deliberately focus on your wins, your strengths, and reasons to be proud. For example, instead of obsessing over the one mistake you made at work, remind yourself of the 32 emails you sent and the good work you did. This refocuses your RAS and starts to build a new mindset.
Thought Substitution: The Mel Robbins Way
Thought substitution is a powerful tool to combat negative thinking. The next time you catch yourself thinking, “What if I fail?” try flipping it to:
“What if it works out?”
This simple question opens the door to possibility and encourages action. You don’t have to believe it 100% right away, but entertaining the possibility changes your brain’s filter and makes you more likely to take positive steps forward.
Why Mindset Reset Is a Lifelong Journey
Mindset reset is not a one-time fix. Life will throw challenges your way, and negativity may creep back in. But the difference is that once you’ve trained your mind to work for you, you have tools to catch those default thoughts and choose a better path.
Remember, you are not stuck with the thoughts you think. You can change the narrative you tell yourself. You can reprogram your brain’s filter to focus on hope, possibility, and action.
This is why I say to you, I love you and I believe in you. You might not say that to yourself yet, but I do. And I’m here to remind you that you have the power to create a better life starting right now.
Final Thoughts: Take the First Step Today
Mindset reset is about taking control of your mental habits and training your brain to work for you. It’s about choosing the lenses through which you see your life, your future, and yourself.
Start today by:
- Playing the “Looking for Hearts” game to train your brain’s filter.
- Practicing thought substitution with “What if it works out?”
- Noticing when you’re wearing dark, pessimistic lenses and choosing to swap them out.
- Celebrating your wins, however small, and focusing on what’s working.
- Surrounding yourself with people and content that lift you up and inspire you.
Your mindset reset journey is yours to own. You don’t have to be perfect, and it won’t happen overnight, but each step forward creates momentum. And with momentum, anything is possible.
If this article resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. What’s one small mindset shift you’re going to make today? Leave a comment below or share this with someone who needs a mindset reset too.
Remember, the happiest days of your life are ahead of you. It all starts with the mindset reset you choose to make right now.
Go find a heart today—and see the whole world change.
